Lindsay Lohan's Snortin' Again!

Radaronline.com says that Lindsay Lohan was at Chateau Marmont this past Sunday night, repeatedly visiting the bathroom with a male friend. Sources claim that 'she was slurring her words, giggling and her nose was red. She was definitely on something, she needed help walking,' according to sources.

Of course one of Lindsay's over worked and needless to say, underpaid spokespersons denied the claims, in an effort to put out yet another fire that pyromaniac Lindsay has sparked.
Supposedly Lohan went braless in a black dress with a plunging neckline. And if you're going to totally thumb your nose at the legal system (which explains the red nose) and be a scofflaw, why not do it with your tits hangin' out? Bring a little style to it, a little panache. Because when it all boils down we gotta be who we gotta be. Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim, Lindsay gotta snort! Some people gotta learn the hard way by landing in jail.

  

Kim Kardashian? Where?

Oh yeah, Kim, it's awesome. It's a whole new you. It's like you're entirely somebody else. So much so, that it's enough to make everybody forget that Ray-J rammed his dick so far up your ass, that you had to open your mouth so he could take a piss. You're unrecognizable. You don't look anything like the girl who tried to dupe people by faking a wedding and then divorcing, so you had material for your "reality" show. The transformation is so stunning, I can't believe it's the same girl who swore up and down she would never pose nude for playboy. That is, until Kris "I own your ass" Kardashian, you call her Mom, upped the pay day for your whore ass. Just so you wouldn't feel that Hef pulled up to your corner in a Maserati, but instead made a call to your Madame, once again, you call her Mom. Everybody knows that call girls are better than hookers, right? 

Look, Kimberly, pookums. A leopard can't change its' spots. Especially when that leopard 's skin doesn't even belong to her. Even if you had enough resolve to tell your mother, Kristopholes, to stick it, what would you do after she reached down your throat and snatched your soul from its' seat? Okay, besides porn, or anything involving the flesh trade? See? It's never gonna happen, kitten

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Just accept the fact that you have black man's kryptonite for an ass, work it for all it's worth and be happy. 

Kristopholes stretched that 15 minutes into overtime and then some. But even a soul dealing she-demon's power has its' limits. As does the appetites and digestibility of the general public. Sorry, sunshine, that's just the whats.

Magic

It's happening all around us, all the time. Supernatural happenings in a natural world. But it's rarely glimpsed.

Lying on a bed of nails isn't magic. Not "real" magic. It's science involving the distribution of weight over many points. That's what keeps the Fakir from being impaled, which would be most undesirable for him. Yeah, he makes his money begging and laying along what is essentially a giant lawn aerator, but begging teaches one humility. And by performing his bed of nails schtick, Fakir is arguably earning his money. And if he were to become impaled, it would impair his ability to make money.

Candice Swanepoel Has A Great Genapoel!

South African sexy model Candice Swanepoel in St. Barts for Victoria's Secret shoot.

  

Yeah, and they wonder why whales beach themselves. Check out the rest of Candice's pix.

 

Click here for another set from a second day of shooting.

Shy'm, L'chaim!

Shy'm's is an R&B singer in France, whose real name is Tamara Marthe.  

She wants the rest of the world to know who she is, so Shy'm "busted out" this freakish top for the NRJ awards at the Palais des Festivals et des Congres in Cannes, getting photogs snappin' pics while also snappin' people's heads. The focus on this red carpet was all on Shy'm, and her plastic encased B cups. So here's to Shy'm! L'chaim! There's more here than meets the eye, much more. Let's hope she reveals some more in the future.

Jennifer Aniston's Desperate!

Never underestimate the power of desperation. Desperation is a useful tool when you want to focus. Just ask, Jennifer Aniston, who showed up at the Directors Guild Awards in Hollywood, dressed to kill

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Some would question, "desperate? She looks fantastic!" Yes, she does and the reason why is because she's desperate. And when a person gets desperate they pull out all the stops. Jen's 42 years old and look at her face. Does that look like the face of a 42 year old? No. Which means she's had some work done. Whatever it is she had done to her mug, can't be done to turn back the hands of time on her vagina. And Jennifer Aniston's biological clock is ticking so loud, DHS thought terrorists had planted a gigantic bomb somewhere in Hollywood. In an effort to show that her uterus is still a viable, and not a cave where animals go to die, Jen put on a display of hotness. Breaking out her "little black dress", she let the world know that she's still got it and flaunted it.

Jen's desperation brought out her focus which is allowing her to concentrate her efforts on keeping her current boyfriend, Justin Theroux happy. Desperation means self-loathing and self-loathing means that Justin has "free run of the grounds" if you catch the meaning. And when you're all BFF's with a lush like Chelsea Handler, a woman who likes to swing in the jungle * wink wink * you get more insight into Jen's well known self depricatiing humor, which is actually what? A form of self loathing.

Focus!

Keeping your eye on the target is essential if you want to achieve anything. It's called focus: to fix or settle on one thing; concentrate.

Shouldn't be too hard to do that right now, with the Daisy Dukes donned Cupid cutie pictured above. She's a beauty! She also has great focus and uses it to be the amazing Archer that she is. Highly skilled at what she does, practicing hour after grueling hour to be the best, she can William Tell a fly off  your ass, all the while never breakin' a sweat, because she has - focus! She knows what she wants, what it takes to have it and applies her focus to obtain it.

Do you have focus? Of course you do. Anytime you decide to apply it, on anything you choose, you can achieve amazing things. So the question is; on what do you want to apply your focus? Know what that is? Good! Go out, focus on that goal/target and get it done! But not right now, there's still more surfing to do. Focus on doing that first, then go out and shake up the world. Focus!

Kim Lee's Fucking Awesome!

Kim Lee is French and Vietnamese, with a sick body and mint face. She was in Hangover 2, credited as a dancer.

She's in FHM Russia, February 2012. If want to know more about her check out her profile at Model Mayhem. Looking at Kim in that  leopeard print, push-up bra, it's hard to tell if those puppies are real. Either way, those palm bombs are awesome and deserve applause * clapping *. 

Wedded Bliss.

Marriage is a give and take. Your wife gives you nothing but headaches and shit, and you take it - right up the ass - 'cause you're fuckin' whipped! And blowjobs are pretty much off the table. But that's okay, 'cause on the occasions when you actually can look the devilish shrew in the face, remembering why you actually care for her, the routine sex helps to balance the scale. Even though your hard-ons aren't so hard anymore, because secretly you feel that she's a soul sucking vampire who's only mission is to bleed you dry of any joy that you have left in your life. But it beats being single, having to hustle for any sex, and you're at the age where "confirmed bachelor" is code for "homo". Who needs it? You do, but it means being alone and being alone can be so damn lonely. But you fool yourself into thinking, "my marriage ain't so bad." And to prove it to yourself you compare your sitch to some other married dude, good move if you want to stay where you are.

Just think, you could be completely castrated, like Mr. Bruce Jenner. In which case you just reminisce over your glory days, fondling the relics from that time, along with the jar where your bitch and chain keeps your nads. Good thing you have hobbies, like piloting RC helicopters, jogging, . or reading useless blogs like, schitZen vane, otherwise your life would be unbearable. Hold on to those little things and remember, things could always be worse, not by much, but they could be. Carry on.

Tila Tequila Busy Rolling Around!

Keeping with the theme of busy bodies, Tila Tequila was busy rolling out her tits and ass, while rolling around on skates

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Tila Tequila, who never met a camera she didn't want to expose herself in front of, which is what makes being the virtual john of an attention whore the awesome experience that it is:  

1. You don't need protection, though your computer might come down with something.
2. It's basically free, 'cept for the little piece of your soul that she sucks from you each time you hit her up.
3. You can make her go away
   ANY time you want to, which is right after you finish.

You keep on, keepin' on, Tila. Do yo thang! We'll be watchin'. See the rest of the pix by clicking the picture above, or by clicking here.

Busy Body

"If you want something done, give it to a busy person." Ever hear that?

The chick up top has a lot goin' on. At first glance, it may just look like she's lettin' out a queef, and you might be right. Though she really is busy right now. She's busy tryin' to give hard-ons, and let's just say  * looks down *, she's succeeding. Leg pulled back behind her head, beer at the ready, and an inviting stare, sexy mama can get - the - job - done! So, if you need somethin' done, or have something that needs doin', give it to a busy person.

Vanessa Hudgens Busy Promoting Her New Movie?

Vadge has been in Hawaii on vacation, promoting her new movie about some island, or something, Google it
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Wouldn't you know it. Vadge's bikini top popped open all by itself. She had to hold her top in place so her breasts wouldn't be exposed * sniff *, 'cause lawd knows she doesn't want any photos she hasn't leaked herself to be taken of her naked tits.

 Vadge has been seen draped in different things, from bikinis, to dresses to her boyfriend whose name schitZen vane doesn't know, or believes won't matter too much in about three weeks, so...

Vadge is a good girl, doin' whatever she's told to do it takes to promote her movie. Let's hope she keeps busy wearin' swimsuits and such, and hopefully her birthday is coming up so she can wear that suit, too.