Wedded Bliss.

Marriage is a give and take. Your wife gives you nothing but headaches and shit, and you take it - right up the ass - 'cause you're fuckin' whipped! And blowjobs are pretty much off the table. But that's okay, 'cause on the occasions when you actually can look the devilish shrew in the face, remembering why you actually care for her, the routine sex helps to balance the scale. Even though your hard-ons aren't so hard anymore, because secretly you feel that she's a soul sucking vampire who's only mission is to bleed you dry of any joy that you have left in your life. But it beats being single, having to hustle for any sex, and you're at the age where "confirmed bachelor" is code for "homo". Who needs it? You do, but it means being alone and being alone can be so damn lonely. But you fool yourself into thinking, "my marriage ain't so bad." And to prove it to yourself you compare your sitch to some other married dude, good move if you want to stay where you are.

Just think, you could be completely castrated, like Mr. Bruce Jenner. In which case you just reminisce over your glory days, fondling the relics from that time, along with the jar where your bitch and chain keeps your nads. Good thing you have hobbies, like piloting RC helicopters, jogging, . or reading useless blogs like, schitZen vane, otherwise your life would be unbearable. Hold on to those little things and remember, things could always be worse, not by much, but they could be. Carry on.