Mena Suvari's ass is free at last!

Mena Suvari filed for divorce in a Los Angeles court on Friday and kicked husband Simone Sestito to the curb. Mena, 32, married the sawed off runt in Vatican City in June 2010. Suvari blames it on "irreconcilable differences," which means dudes probably got a small bank account that matches his pinky dick, you can relate. 

Besides, Martin Luther King Day is almost here and we should let freedom ring. Marriage is just another form of slavery and servitude. Where some see rings as a symbol of union, others see them  as links in the chain of bondage. Who is seriously gonna stand by their spouse through, sickness and in health, for richer, or poorer? Not Mena, that's for shizzle! Chica figured out that concert promoter really meant DJ for birthday party and Mitzvahs and cut that shit to the quick. Dude looks like he's on the verge of delivering singing telegrams. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's honest work. But if you're going to have a woman with the cinematic success of Mena Suvari, you gotta have more game than that! Can't be runnin' from offices to birthday parties to mitzvahs wearin' big floppy shoes, a red nose and clown wigs wigs talkin' 'bout, "hope you're happy, hope you're swell, hope this song doesn't stink, cause you already smell!"

When you look like a Hobbit extra from Lord Of The Rings, your concert promoting sctick is only gonna take you so far, for so long. Mena's got shit poppin', there's no room in her world for a Napoleon who can't hold up his end of the financial responsibility. With a her ass back on the market, rebound booty bonanza is about to begin. Mena's got to:

1. Prove to the world that "baby still got back."
2. Prove to herself that she's still a hot piece of tail by showin' off that smokin' body.
3. Prove to God that she didn't mock Him by getting married in Vatican City.

Last one sounds like a tall order, but if God is anything It's forgiving. After all, The New Testament talks about forgiveness and turning the other cheek. Mena's got plenty of cheek and Lord knows how sweet it is when Mena turns her cheeks. But Mena's more than just an ass and to prove that check out the pics on her page.