I like to keep my personal stuff out of the posts as much as possible, especially when it's weird, which is quite often. But this one has to be included. I had a dream about Ashley Tisdale. It wasn't really a dream, 'cause I was awake and it was early morning. So a daydream, I guess? If I don't preface this by saying that Ashley Tisdale looks like some type of chipmunk, or squirrel, this will all seem strange(er). I don't particularly like squirrels. They're suspicious. Kangaroos give me the same vibe, nothin' but giant hopping rats.
Back to the dream. So Tisdale comes running down this massive redwood, the kind in California. She's doing her squirrel thing, because she is a squirrel in this dream. She's scanning for nuts, I guessed at the time, only to find out the truth of that later. Then she spots me. I see her eyeing me, so I do what I always do when I see a tree weasel, I stomp my foot with a step toward it to make it scamper away. Only, Ashley doesn't turn tail. She remains upside down on the massive tree trunk, looking back at me, defiant. This ticks me off. Looking for anything I can use to throw at her, I see a pine cone. "Tick!" It hits the tree inches above her. Still she doesn't run, only flicks her deceptively bushy tail which disguises a rats tail, at me.
"Okay," I say. Making my way to the tree, first a fast walk, breaks into a sprint. Then time slows down and the next happens in slow motion; Tisdale coils, then springs towards me, a flying squirrel, skin flaps fluttering, and headed right for my grill. My hand reaches out to intercept her, giving her an opportunity to engulf my outstretched fingers and hand into her fleshy and furry gray body. Skidding to a stop, kicking up dirt and forest debris, I'm transfixed by her engulfing my hand, which defensively is balled into a fist. I'm holding my arm up, looking her dead in her eyes, and she's staring back at me, her eyes piercing my mind. She's inside my head, on my fist, my head falls back, as my eyes watch the tree canopy begin to whirl above, picking up speed. Tree tops spin above me, I'm dizzy, a wave washes over me and I'm falling with Ashley riding my fist.
Our eyes meet inside the eye of the maelstrom, a storm of blurring colors and shapes. We're suspended inside, she's speaking to me, her gray furry body undulating on my hand. "Share your nuts with me!" she says. I look down, then back at her questioning, her eyes pleading with me, her mouth pouting. She transformed from squirrel to human, like a familiar, perched over my fist. Another dizzying wave crashes over me, eyes slammed tightly closed, my lungs explode with air that feels as though it's been breathed into me. Thrown open again, her eyes are fixed on mine, Ashley's mouth fixed on mine, her body now fixed on mine. The spinning has stopped and we're drifting down, her blonde hair flittering about her. She hugs me tight, her mouth to my ear, "share your nuts with me," her breathy voice tickling, her tongue teasing my lobe.
We're in the forest again, a bed of soft underbrush beneath us. Her legs are allowing me, her heels urging, her inside welcoming me. "WHA!" A flash of brilliant white light, a spasm. Another flash, another spasm. A final long strobe and nothing. The surrounding blank white is sketched by colorful strokes that busily draw the world. She sits up on my chest, squirrel Ashley, tail quickly flicking. Her eyes are distant, though the warmth is there. Her forearms scratch at my chest, a look, then she darts off back up the same giant redwood she descended before.
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